Billosophy

The Tao of Confusedcious.

Posted 4 days ago
If God had a doorbell, it would be Hans Zimmer’s music.
- god
- music
- hans zimmer
- inception
- batman
Posted 3 months ago

If you name your child after a mode of transportation, something you can consume, or an abstract thought, she’s gonna grow up to suck a lot of dick.

Commenting on names like, “Mercedes, Hope, Celestial”
Posted 4 months ago
If you couldn’t eat candy you’d want to watch things die too.

Why Wilford Brimley advocates cockfighting.
- wilford brimley
- diabetes
Posted 4 months ago

Why can’t people just stand around, stare at the ground, and wait to die, like they used to in the 50’s?
Posted 4 months ago

I am so tired of people telling me about the problems of the world that I just want to add to them.
Posted 4 months ago

I don’t talk to anyone named Christina, mostly because they have social diseases.
Posted 4 months ago
I feel like I just sucked off an AIDS patient while watching Two and a Half Men.

After listening to the supergroup, “Lulu”
- lulu
- supergroup
- music
Posted 4 months ago

Ted Nugent right after he wakes up.

Who his spirit animal would be
Posted 4 months ago

Anything red comes up, call your doctor. Actually, you better book your appointment now so you can see them in six months.

I was coughing. Profusely. He was concerned.
Posted 4 months ago

He started a cult, made people believe he was Jesus, and made them make him pie. Well, I imagine he would make them make him pie. I would.

Why his dream is to be like David Koresh, “minus the whole burning to death thing.”
Posted 4 months ago

Singing “Ode to Joy” but replacing every word with “rape” is a lot harder than I originally thought.
Posted 4 months ago

Any kind of packaging with a cartoon character on it. “Oh look, that cat is smiling! That means it’s good for you.

Explaining my diet
Posted 4 months ago

I can’t justify putting that amount of money in my body unless it’s like, blow.

Why he won’t eat at Ruth’s Chris Steak house.
Posted 1 year ago
You know how much chicks like puppies, right? I breed puppies, and rent them out to guys so they can get laid.

His new business venture, “Poon Puppies”
- puppies
- dog
- business
- women
Posted 1 year ago
You’re… you’re hoping it’s cow.

Explaining exactly what “Grade E” beef is.
- food
- doomwich